how to hold a mouse

while reading through my COMP 170 course manual, i discovered that through the majority of my life, the beliefs and values that i have, have indeed been false and misguided: i never knew that the rounded top of the mouse should rest in the palm of your hand and the cord extends away from you!

being a Mac user all my life, i have always believed that you delete typing mistakes. who ever heard of backspacing typing mistakes? its like learning german! this might just be too much for my sensory receptors to handle! seriously, what kind of malarkey is this? i mean, if i have to use a computer, i will just stick with what i have... it works just fine!

e-mail? what is e-mail? why would i send electronic mail when i could send regular, old fashioned, time consuming, out dated, by-the-time-it-gets-to-you-its-irrelevant mail! i can't believe that they are going to try and make me use the internet to research things that i could look up in a sexist, pre women's lib, politically incorrect book! e-mail, that just won't catch on! and GOOGLE! don't even get me started on that rubbish. and what the heck is wikipedia anyways? why can't i just use an encyclopedia? i like the smell of old, musty, leather bound, lead printed books. i just don't think that this will ever be useful.

you know what, i guess progress can be good. had the railroad not made its way to the west, who knows where we'd be! maybe i can adapt to the changes and advances that technology is making. who knows, i might actually like it. maybe the internet won't be that scary. they do call it the world wide web though. that is a little intimidating. i think i will tread this water very carefully. it still might be scary out there!

i'm not even joking about this! this is the basis of my basic computer skills course... i am PAYING money for this! paying money to learn to send emails and how to hold a mouse. awesome!